My Ego Is A Big Jerk!

This water bottle got all cozy with the milk and bananas because of my ego.

I could have (should have!) gone to a speed workout with AGTC this morning at 5:45am. But I didn’t. And I only have myself to blame.

I had every intention of making it happen. I went to bed early. I remembered to set the alarm—even double-checked it was for a.m., not p.m. But this morning when the clock started bleeping, a negative little voice in my head began to talk…

“You haven’t worked out like this in months,” it said as I climbed out of bed. “You’ll be slower than everyone else,” it whispered to me in the kitchen when I tossed a nuun tablet into my water bottle. “You’ll look stupid coming in last on every sprint,” it shouted while I pulled on a pair of running tights.

That nagging voice wore down my resolve, and sadly I gave in. I tossed my pants back into the closet, put the water bottle in the fridge, and climbed under the covers. And now, I’m annoyed.

Instead of working my butt off with a bunch of like-minded people this morning, I have to go for a run alone. I could have (should have!) had fun working with teammates to push myself harder. I could have (should have!) been done already. But no, I allowed my ego and its fears of looking stupid, being slow, and experiencing pain to prevent myself from doing that.

I’m challenging myself to ignore my ego for the rest of the week.

Do you have any good comebacks for the negative little voice in your head? Has your ego ever held you back?

2 thoughts on “My Ego Is A Big Jerk!

  1. I am slow, and I’m OK with this… when I run alone. I do really love running alone. I solve the world’s problems, and some of my own. this is my meditation time. All this is true, but I want to run better. I want to get stronger, be faster, and I want to shut that negative voice in my head up… for good! I understand that nothing gets easier just because I may get stronger… The stronger I am; the harder I push, but How do I let myself be good enough? I think turning off that voice requires another dose of discipline and motivation… sort of like training for a race! I’m training for a 17 mile mountain run that tops out over 13,000 ft before heading back down to finish around 8,500. I choose this type of race because slow is still respected in that venue!

    1. Hillary, that mountain race sounds awesome—such a cool challenge! Lately, when that negative voice starts talking to me, I’ve been trying to use the mantra: “I’m good enough; I am enough!” It seems to be working. Happy training!

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